Wellbeing is central to a society that is progressive and cohesive. In order to contribute effectively, members of society should be valued and encouraged to look after that wellbeing by giving them knowledge and making available, activities and places to do them. I certainly believe that finding a past-time that has so many social, psychological and health benefits, is a vital part of a well-functioning society. This is not news to a lot of people and are probably already motivated to dance or other such activities. We are also aware that age is certainly no barrier to becoming involved in physical activities and there is a lot of media contact and associations set up to promote positive older age and rightly so, as with an ageing population, making that population aware and responsible for staying healthier, for longer, is so utterly key. Though I have a strong suspicion that this work and mindset starts much earlier in life, possibly even in childhood?. I have been impressed and scared by some of the achievements and the dedication of people, nearly twice my age. I find, though, that there is little said about the challenges of being that little bit younger and fitter but possibly having to fit in more to your life whilst undergoing major changes to your body and psyche, in those middle years. You have a lot to take in and contemplate and whether you should settle or change, the conflicts with yourself can be immense. Of course, I can only talk from the point of view of a woman and we have some very specific challenges to our body and entire being. Caring responsibilities generally become more intense with probably parents entering older years, children, if you have any, have their own activities and let’s face it, energy levels can take large dips at times. So, as much as we love our dancing and are privileged to do so and are fully engaged with the many benefits, there is a much bigger reality, where it can be difficult to balance and maintain our levels of dance. This transition period – in many ways, still young enough to push yourself – to try and achieve a better turnout or a wider/ higher split jete but aware that at the next class, not just your body but your mind, might tell you that the ballet studio is nowhere for you to be. The inner voice says to you that you will never, ever, be fit to lace up Marianela’s Freed pointe shoes, so, what’s the point (no pun intended) in trying.? There are other days when the good hormones are in the ascendency and you sail round in your pirouettes and the steps flow easily and you even feel un-self-conscious enough to wear your favourite skirt and leotard combination and might venture a little further forward or, my oh my, might even, if inadvertently left on your own, complete the sequence of steps and even mildly enjoy the applause, as it is one of your good days, it will have gone not too badly!.
Most adult classes will have a motivator, whether that is someone who sets goals that you would not think possible and will strive to reach them or the dancer with the naturally encouraging nature who helps you to keep going and has a word of motivation, when you are feeling over-self-conscious or critical. There is definitely something of the adrenaline junky about the dancer but in a much safer environment than throwing yourself off a cliff or driving fast cars. It doesn’t matter that a professional dancing career is in the dim and distant past, we would be happy with a split jete or feet that would point in the right direction, most of the time. There are those more advanced in their middle years who are doing exams for the first time or the first time in many years. Most of us go to not one but to several classes. When our lives are so busy and the hopes of dancing professionally have dimmed, if there ever were any, so why do we dance this most demanding of styles?. What does it add to the life of the dancer in their middle years?. And why do we go beyond mere exercise?.
Ballet class has been a real revelation for me, not having grown up with any dance, it always seemed so unobtainable and the great thing about where we are now, it is becoming more obtainable. I am pretty much around my second decade of being firmly indoctrinated into the beauteous art. It is an interesting time, as the body should be sliding into some sort of retirement mode or the next level down, with the Silver Swans as my retirement plan. My knowledge has grown by being surrounded by great teachers and Social Media has been a real bonus as have access to professional dancers who are on the next phase of their careers or have taken a break and found themselves promoting their teaching through Youtube tutorials. It is not always advantageous to live in the digital world but, used correctly, as it is so being used at the moment, to be able to watch and adopt daily exercises that have, hopefully, raised my awareness of my body in relation to improvements for ballet. Ballet is an aesthetic medium, ballet dancers paint pictures with their bodies but for the amateur, you can very much choose your level and how much work you decide to do or what your motivation is. I very much don’t want to just do ballet, I want to try and get it to look as much like ballet as I can, given that a lot of my formative years was spent, bent over a desk or a hockey stick, with very little awareness of an epaulement or a top-line, never mind a turnout, though I finally found a use for my feet that have always went outwards, though the ballet turnout is so much more extreme. I also thought that I could point my feet rather well until I started to wear demi-pointe shoes and the tiredness that you get through the foot as you try to get the point to the floor or lengthen the leg. So, in many ways, I am still moving very much upwards in my ballet career and I know that this is very much the case for many of our ballet group. We are also very much the first generation that has had pretty good health and social care (bar the current health crisis, though when we achieve, in all hope, some distance from this situation, we will no doubt be able to put this into some kind of perspective) and an awareness of things such as diet and exercise, in terms of their effect on our bodies, so we should be healthier longer and it is a good legacy to pass down to future generations. Though, I am aware that a lot of people, who did little exercise before, are now doing so much less, even though we have the opportunity for free health sessions, straight into our living rooms which we have never had before.
One of the biggest factors for me at the moment but will not be the same for everyone or everyone at the same time but as my body changes, this has had a psychological and emotional impact. I woke up one day, some time after my 40th birthday and it was as if some alien life force had taken over my body. My emotional state has been on a rollercoaster ever since. The first few months, my attitude to ballet even changed! and for the first time, I wasn’t really enjoying it and could not fully engage, going through the motions. I even took a break from watching Roberto Bolle as it was not giving me the pleasure that it should, who’d-a-thought? Though when my hormonal cycle changed and went into a state of flux, I was able to pin-point a lot of the changes I was going through and difficulties of mood changes at certain times, only, I was able to laugh at myself in the mirror (admit it! we all talk to ourselves and if you don’t, maybe you should) and laugh as I know there are so many other things going on and my small difficulties are a minor inconvenience, compared to what others face. I reordered my priorities and now instead of flicking through interminable TV channels, I will retreat and listen to music and read. Reading really does take you into the world of the imagination or inspiration so much more than television as the brain conjures up its own images or certain writers are magnificent at letting you hear the inner voice of a character and making them richly vivid. Also, I also love to learn about other human beings, that connection with humanity being strong, learning about a life of adversity and extremes and how they have overcome, can help to enhance my own world. However, wellbeing cannot be gained or maintained by living vicariously, you need exercise and of course, as a dancer, I think that we have the best of all worlds as can combine fitness, music, fantasy, interesting dancewear, interesting people and you have to work pretty hard. Dance creates a lot of good, naturally occurring and repairing drugs in our bodies and even though we might go through ups and downs, keeping going is essential, even though sometimes, I cannot retain a single step.
However, there is an upside and some the greatest highs that I have known, though that also has to be tempered or I’d never sleep, after the steep climb, there is the thrill of taking the brakes off and the wind flying through your hair is the reason why we bother to get on at all. There are times when I feel as if I could take on anything and fully succeed and actually don’t despair of what I see in the mirror. Other times there is an acute self-awareness and times when I don’t feel like that but being at the barre, and amongst friends will reap rewards, even if not for that one class but in the future. We are at a crossroads of an ageing population, demand on services and a lot of sedentary living, it is imperative not to give up. None of us has a guaranteed healthy future but the odds are much better if we keep going. Of course, now that we are going through a global health crisis, keeping our immune systems at optimum level to give ourselves a fighting chance has become so much more important and part of building a healthy immune system is getting the blood pumping through our bodies and there is no end to the amount of online ballet classes that can be done.
A global health crisis does not change how people are personally feeling on a day to day basis. Going through major life changes in your 40s/ 50s, can leave you feeling rubbish and all over the place and may not have the time to fit in loads of extra classes. I’m beginning to realise that people have different energy levels and there are different pressures on our brains throughout the week, so you may not have the time to work on pretty much all the parts of your body that were not naturally blessed to do ballet. There is not only the Social Media pressure to look as fab as the ballet dancers that we admire but even amateur ballet companies are doing some fab things and you see their dancers on pointe and looking really great as dancers. There are those media stories that seem a little fantastical, the “I’ve realised my dream, danced John-o-Groats to Lands’ End while crocheting a map of the world”!! – and that is pressure too. Most middle-aged dancers have lives fully immersed in the reality of working, shopping, cleaning, family etc. and aspirational stories can nearly be as defeating as being none, what goes on behind stories? For me, I want something that is just out of reach, that fills me with verve, as I can see something that might be obtainable but is just over the horizon, at the moment. There are days when you might feel like you can take on the world but there will be many when this kind of pressure, which only might be perceived, will nearly send you back under the covers in a fit of, ‘I just can’t be that fabulous’ and take on the world. Then you have to remember where you have been and how much ballet has helped in so many physical and psychological areas of your life. In a time of great turmoil, it is really important to have something that in so many ways, is pure and simple – all it takes is an airy room wearing leggings and t-shirt and with only a pair of flimsy canvas shoes – but immensely stimulating to every part of your being, for an hour or so. Though, those leggings and t-shirt may get upgraded at some point in time as you get enticed into ballet fashion and going normal shopping is replaced by admiring glances at Cloud and Victory t-shirts and leotards and Freda Silk flowing skirts or Love Lily beautifully patterned skirts. But, these are not the core of why we dance, it is just what makes it a more thrilling past-time but ballet can be brutal on the body and positions that are somewhat unnatural. Though in my mid-40s, I am still transforming my body and I am inspired all the time by those who set themselves goals and strive to reach them, never mind at what stage in life, people that I know and have conversations with. I think that the youth that nearly every ballet dancer displays, even though they are in such a tough business, is one greatest selling points for ballet – show me a dancer that looks older than their years and I’ll show you tons of dancers who look at least ten years younger, not to mention the nonagenarians who still look stately.
To the slogans t-shirts I’d add, ‘Ballet dancers eat cake too’ and from a recent ‘Day in the Life’ of Melissa Hamilton, she admitted to having a very sweet tooth, though chocolate is her treat. Ballet dancers are very, very good with their bodies and work very hard and deserve treats! After many a class, we retire to a local coffee shop or bar and it is not pizza or alcohol that is our indulgence but cake and ballet chat, what live feed we have watched or full work ballet or tip on Youtube or Instagram. Many mornings, it is very, very tempting to throw the duvet up over your head and not bother with the day but a day that has ballet, it makes you get up and go as you don’t want to miss your treat at the end of the day, going to ballet class. Months like February are difficult and recovery in your muscles from one class to the next, especially when you do a mid-week class, can be slower than it once was, though the way dance is set up now, there is no retirement age and our Alzheimer’s charity ballet performance this year featured dancers at all ages and stages, supporting and encouraging each other, it was stimulating and infectious. Over the last number of years, we have put on some amateur performances in memory of a great lady who loved ballet very much that her attraction to it was nearly unconscious, hearing the music like a siren call and a teacher who looked like Moira Shearer from the Red Shoes, Ruth Adams. Ruth Adams was a pioneer and encouraged many on their adult ballet journey. Performance is not something I expected to take part in, in my middle year and adds another dimension of self-motivation and self-criticism that happens, I think, particularly in your middle years. Then you get swept up in the whole delight and all the little elements that go to make up what is to all intents and purposes, a work of community and also, performance transcends all that and also, it is the striving to master something, getting fitter and stronger in the process. When putting together our show, a printed programme is produced filled with biographies and you realise how diverse our community is and the really interesting things that everyone is doing and contributing. We were chatting after class, thinking that when we first set our canvas-shod toes onto the dance floor, that it would be a bit of wafting and floating about, I did not think that nearly 20 years later, I’d be watching video tutorials and reading top tips on how to get a better turnout and most importantly. Dancing in front of an audience is both a thrill and punishing. Luckily we have an indulgent audience made up of family and friends and for charity but an audience, none the less, who have transacted money.
Performance is that significant part of dance and particularly, ballet. It is and always has been, a performance medium, ballet makes sense, on stage, telling a story or a moving vision of art. Even though we perform once a year or 18 months and in a warm and indulgent way, it still gives a flavour of the highs and lows of performance. Dealing with injury or the ups and downs of casting. It is a similar psychology to professionals, even they are human beings with similar emotions, just on a very different scale and tempered by it not being our bread and butter or our life’s work. Though I know that there are different levels of meaning for each person. For me, I love dance because of the costumes and the music, that is what moves me most to perform but not just that, it is the community and camaraderie, feeding off other people who are also in that state of terror and elation.
There are emotions guiding the reason for doing this, which is the memory of Ruth Adams and assisting the Alzheimer Society, to care for those and their families who are afflicted with this disease and also doing what we can to try and put ourselves in the best position for a healthier old-age. Nothing is full-proof but it is beholden upon us, while we can, to make our future as healthy and happy as we can, not just for our nearest and dearest but to a heavy-laden Health and Social Services. No-one knows what is before them or our lives can change in a flash because of another’s actions, but starting from a platform of being physically and hopefully psychologically well-adjusted, should always be preferable. Though, of course, my motivation for writing this is to say that we also have to gauge when enough is enough, in terms of pushing ourselves. One person’s goal could be another person’s injury or nightmare. We need the right levels of inspiration to move forward but also to know what we can possibly achieve, without creating dissatisfaction or inappropriate pressure on ourselves. Take out of another’s inspiration what we can to improve, sometimes the steps forward and improvements can be small but nothing that is worth doing is easy. I know that I went through a stage of watching the online videos and reading tips from the likes of Dance or Pointe Magazines but then realised that a lot of these are aimed at the professional or pre-professional dancer. I learned to modify and pick up little tips and short exercises that I can squeeze in before bed and if I can work on turn-out and then getting leg higher, another night, some work on arms, then that is okay, I am moving forward. You do not need to put in an hour and come away dripping with sweat, you need to keep adding strength and making those little adjustments that hopefully add up to a lot more. It is unlikely that there will be a critic or a professional contract resting on how high I can get my leg or how many turns I can perfect! Which is just as well. It helps me get through some difficult changes in my body that can make it more difficult with the emotional roller-coaster that it can bring, hopefully without the need for medication but that is my personal choice and is not for everyone. I love our adult ballet community and we are made up of a wide range of people and ages. There are many inspiring stories but we must pick up our own and although we might not hit the headlines that perhaps are looking for the extremes but we never know who we might motivate to have a happier and healthier lifestyle or a new love of dance but we also have to get through our busy lives and changes, in the way that is right for us. So if you are struggling in your middle years, there will be people around you going through similar issues and we have to sometimes laugh at ourselves and just keep putting one ballet shoe in front of the other, even that is now from our front rooms. Now, more than ever, we might have the tendency to just sit on our sofas and not exercise but that is the absolute worst thing we could do. Although, this time seems to be going on, longer than a lot of us ever dreamt that it would, there are so many online classes available and should remain on YouTube. We must not give up or give in, however tempting it might be as we need to boost our immune systems and keep the blood pumping through our bodies, which has so many benefits. When the time comes and as was telling a friend during a particularly bad, wintry deluge and unremitting greyness and in the midst of a period of societal irascibleness – a particularly bad, hormone-fueled onslaught – I can still get my leg up to that top barre and when I can’t, I will retire, partially, to the Silver Swans and take time to appreciate everything that I DO HAVE and can experience.
Further reading, you might want to follow @MaggyPiggott on Twitter and read her book, ‘How to Age Joyfully’.
And while I cannot comment on all of this newspaper’s articles claims, admit it, even though middle-aged, a lot of us harbour the desire to put on a tutu and pointe shoes, just need the ideal partner to come along for pas-de-deux work!: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3925804/Want-great-legs-sharper-memory-perkier-sex-life-tutu-Meet-middle-aged-women-say-ballet-s-transformed-lives.html
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